Indecisiveness is my suicide, now and forever
I remembered that I disliked the warehouse job, the one tt ZQ is in. Starts on the 18 and ends at around Chinese New Year's eve. Come to think of it now, I still have reservations abt it. However, the stunning news will be that I am gonna undertake it. Provided the boss lets me have it again after my initial rejection.
I shall not reiterate the details cos doing so means I will get more comments, which will probably befuddle me, again, more than ever.. I have my indecisive moments (quite a lot of it I guess) but this time is expectional suicidal. How suicidal is it?
I cant find the words for it exactly. For one thing, I know that if my loved ones arent there for me, I will probably be wallowing in confusion. Hate it when my brain and heart conflicts, and this job opportunity (or loss of opportunity, if I do not get hired) is evidence of how bad it is when both these organs fight.
In a nutshell, my brain tells me to go for the warehouse job because its lucrative and I will never know the maximum of my ability and potential if I do not venture into this unknown industry. My heart on the other hand (most of the time making me do things that I regret) tells me that this job is hardly of my interest and virtually lifeless. Moreover it will deprive my students of my tutelage. Thus I should not do it.
Case summarised. After consideration of priorities, I have chosen to sacrifice my life and students for monetary benefits. I know it sounds mercenary but trust me, there's more than just money involved. My losses and probable gains for accepting this job are divided by only a thin red line but this resolution did not come in a moment of folly.
Realistically speaking, I need to widen my skies. The money will prove useful. I need to learn how to make sacrifices for (probably) the right things. Truthfully speaking, I just wish to adhere to a promise. If not for the last reason, I may not do it after all. Did my integrity just cause me to err? I have faith that its not the case..
Wish me luck ppl.. And for all u know, my next entry or appearance may just be after the New Yr..
I shall not reiterate the details cos doing so means I will get more comments, which will probably befuddle me, again, more than ever.. I have my indecisive moments (quite a lot of it I guess) but this time is expectional suicidal. How suicidal is it?
I cant find the words for it exactly. For one thing, I know that if my loved ones arent there for me, I will probably be wallowing in confusion. Hate it when my brain and heart conflicts, and this job opportunity (or loss of opportunity, if I do not get hired) is evidence of how bad it is when both these organs fight.
In a nutshell, my brain tells me to go for the warehouse job because its lucrative and I will never know the maximum of my ability and potential if I do not venture into this unknown industry. My heart on the other hand (most of the time making me do things that I regret) tells me that this job is hardly of my interest and virtually lifeless. Moreover it will deprive my students of my tutelage. Thus I should not do it.
Case summarised. After consideration of priorities, I have chosen to sacrifice my life and students for monetary benefits. I know it sounds mercenary but trust me, there's more than just money involved. My losses and probable gains for accepting this job are divided by only a thin red line but this resolution did not come in a moment of folly.
Realistically speaking, I need to widen my skies. The money will prove useful. I need to learn how to make sacrifices for (probably) the right things. Truthfully speaking, I just wish to adhere to a promise. If not for the last reason, I may not do it after all. Did my integrity just cause me to err? I have faith that its not the case..
Wish me luck ppl.. And for all u know, my next entry or appearance may just be after the New Yr..
posted by S|M0nG at
8:50:00 PM
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