Blow hot blow cold....

This applies to the weather.. Swimming on Sunday was a freeze with every breeze tt passed.
The title applies to my life too, tinged with the heat of work and the chill I get during my free time.

My life: Mon to Fri: WORK 830 to 6 latest

Sat: 10 to 3 tuition with my two students, living like poles apart
I will be in town after 3 so maybe I will chill from there

Sun: Another time to chill. Wake at probably 12 if Im free for the day, Swimming with cousin at 3 in the East area; Im the coach..
Supposedly a day tt I promised myself to do all the errands tt I should but it has yet to manifest. More often than not, Im out again.

Evenings after work: 1-2 days for driving, The only time to decently go out with mom will be Tue evening. Class on fri.. At least one evening for a swim

Do the Maths.. I have probably only have half a Sat, half a Sun and one evening to myself.
3 parts of days for the three parts of Simon: ME, MYSELF and I.... My life feels controlled at times, and remaining uncontrolled parts of me belong to other ppl at times..

I know its my choice that I go out, thus minimising time (and money) for myself. I know tt Im always tempted to go out whenever someone asks me to. Hedonism has blinded me. Altruism has shredded my life and distributed it to all tt I know..Either that or I am not committing enough to myself.

Stop ennobling myself with self-pity....

I have not felt solitude for a long time (except tt time when I went to Chinatown).
Strange tt when ppl are hopin to escape fr it, Im longing for it...

I am not loving myself enough..So much for being narcissistic.. Where is the love?

PS: Please do not think tt Im undergoing depression. Such thots jus occured cos my MP3 player spoilt and my brain got bored and left me during boring train journeys to and fro work.. Without the brain, the heart takes over and there u have it.. In other words, sheer introspection